


Crying In The Middle of The Night (again)

by beautifulboimckinley



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Spooky Mormon Hell Dream, connor mckinley being sad, kevin price is arrogant as always, sad and then happy at the end dont worry pal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-28 03:53:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10070183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beautifulboimckinley/pseuds/beautifulboimckinley
Summary: Connor is crying in the middle of the night again and Kevin is opinionated and it's kinda cute





	

Elder McKinley had mistaken the absence of especially cute boys around him for his own heterosexuality and the success of his “turn it off” technique. This misconception became apparent with the arrival of a certain super-Mormon who had a lovely smile, perfect hair, and a wonderful (if not a little egocentric) personality, who he thought about at night a somewhat embarrassing amount, and whose absolutely gorgeous grin made him blush every time; yes, from the beginning, McKinley was smitten for Elder Price. The way this is described sort of makes it seem like it was just something that happened, with no ill consequences other than possibly the grief of unrequited love, but God knows that isn’t true, unfortunately. No, the recurrence of Connor’s gay thoughts upset him very much, and his nightly Spooky Hell Dreams got terribly worse, and now often included a blissful moment with Price before Satan’s mockery and torture rained down upon him. Heavens, he would never admit it, but turning it off likely never worked. Elder McKinley had just been lucky enough not to develop any crushes after the very handsome Steve Blade.

Many a midnight would Connor lay in his bed, analyzing these feelings that seemed hopeless and maybe (definitely) fantasizing about Kevin Price kissing him and cuddling with him and holding his hand before he became overwhelmed with horrible, debilitating guilt and cried into his pillow softly, anticipated the dreams that would mimic his experience in the afterlife, before falling asleep and suffering through flames and Lucifer’s terrible laugh. Elder McKinley had probably not gotten a single good night’s sleep since the arrival of Elder Price. 

It was one of these nights that Connor awoke before dawn, sweating and gasping for breath and screaming, when he decided to make himself a cup of chamomile tea. On his way to the shabby excuse for a kitchen, still shaking with fright, that overwhelming guilt arrived yet again, wave after wave of  _ you don’t deserve to have good things _ and _ you filthy, sinning heretic  _ crashed on the shore of his mind, and his body was suddenly racked with sobs, and Connor wished he could say this was the worst he had felt in a while but this actually happened almost nightly, and soon enough he was curled up on the couch just crying and crying and crying. Almost an hour later, he was still sobbing and still rocking on the couch, cursing himself for sinning over and over and over again, when he heard footsteps and immediately righted himself. Of course, Elder McKinley couldn’t do anything to hide the tears streaming down his cheeks, his puffy eyes, or blotchy skin, and he could only hope that the man who had woken up was Poptarts, who would simply take him back to bed and give him a s’mores poptart (his favorite type, reserved for emotional breakdowns). 

But nothing could ever go right for him, could it. Elder Price had to be the one with a concerned look on his face who sat down next to him on the rickety sofa, and simply the fact that it was  _ him _ made McKinley erupt into tears. 

“Oh, oh gosh, Elder McKinley, are you ok?”

“I’m fine, Elder Price, I promise, just having a rough night.”, said McKinley, a sad smile on his face and his words sprinkled with sniffles. Obviously, that was a lie, and since Kevin Price, although he was many things, was not an idiot, he knew so. And to Elder McKinley’s dismay, he wanted to help. 

“Hell dream?” 

“Sorta. Uh, yeah.” 

Connor began to sob again, and on some sort of sadness-induced impulse, jumped into Kevin’s arms and cried into his chest, while Elder Price held him tight and let him cry and cry and cry. And he could sense Kev getting more and more and more concerned, so finally, through the lump in his throat, he spoke. 

“I’m going to hell.”

“WHAT? No, no, Elder, there’s no way you’re going to hell, you’re so good, and nice and-”

“And gay.”, Connor butted in, an impatience in his voice like he didn’t want to defend his goodness any longer. 

“Have you...considered that it might not be a bad thing?” 

“No, that’s silly, it’s in the Bible and stuff. Gosh, Elder Price.” 

“Ok, well, I’m Kevin Price. I’m usually right. And I say that God has most definitely changed his mind about homosexuals.”

“Well,” McKinley replied, “I say you’re being stupid.”

“Elder McKinley, what’s your first name?”

“Connor, why?””

Kevin took a shaky breath in and began to speak: “Connor, I’ve been having gay thoughts about you since I first arrived in Uganda. And, I - well, I’ve been thinking, and you and I, we’re good and nice and care for others, so why would Heavenly Father give us a flaw that would put us in the fiery pits of hell? I’m pretty sure I’m...I’m in love with you, Elder McKinley. And if you’re brave enough to tell, do you, uh, like me back?”

Connor scrunched his eyes tight, exhaled, and muttered a quiet “yes”. In a burst of courage, he opened his closed eyelids and looked into Kevin’s. And his warm brown eyes seemed so welcoming and kind and warm that Connor suddenly decided to take a chance. 

Connor McKinley kissed Kevin Price. Just for a fleeting moment, not even one second, was his lips on Kevin’s, and it felt wonderful and comforting and amazing but one second was all it took before his mind was drenched with shame, and he pulled away in a cold sweat, apologizing over and over and over again. Tears spilled onto his cheeks, and once more was he crying out a fresh set of tears. 

“Con, honey, it’s ok, you’re ok.” 

“No, I’m not, I’m a sinner and I’m gonna be tortured by Satan for all eternity and -”

Kevin Price kissed Connor McKinley. This time the kiss lasted longer, filled with joy and sadness and acceptance. Connor kept sort of smiling into the Kevin’s lips, and Kevin learned how amazingly soft McKinley’s hair was, and the two nineteen year olds had finally found someone else like them. And that person happened to love them. For as long as this moment lasted, Con forgot about Hell and Satan and sin, and, although even he, theatre lover extraordinaire, would consider this cheesy, all he felt was love.

For the first time in a while, Connor had a good night.


End file.
